It has been a pretty tough year for me.
To think that it has only been 6 months since this year have started. But for me all the hardships that I have encountered seemed like decades. It has been extremely sad to go through all of that stuffs. But, what am I to do?
Well,it's a good thing that I don't have any heart ailments. 'Cause if I do have one, I'd probably be dead right now. Crying is so painful. But pretending to be alright despite the fact that you're not, that's a burden that you have to bear, unless you want to be more hurt by the thought that you have made the people you value sadder. For you have not only hurt / disappointed them but you have also made them worried sick for you even though you're very much unworthy of it .
I have been in bad terms with a number of people this past months. But one of them, I have never really thought of being in such a bad term like this in my wildest dreams. Honestly his so kind. But he's quite sensitive. Thus, perhaps that's the reason why a small misunderstanding lead to something like this. It's quite pathetic. Well, for me being ignored by someone dear to you is the worst! But his not like someone whom I can't live without. So the sadness turned to disappointment, then curiosity, then anger until well I don't care about him anymore. That's the worst situation a person could be, if he wants to be my friend. (chuckles)
Oh well, what can I do, I have said my apologies, I tried to be in good terms, I have done everything I think I should do. For him, I've even lowered my pride which I have only done to people not more than the number fingers on my hand in my whole life.
I've even waited, but he, even said cruel things to me. Now, he apologizes.
I am certainly not mad anymore, I just don't care.
That's all.
Nevertheless, to my ever loving family and relatives, my love for you shall never ever fade. I shall value you, oh so precious people, more than anyone in this place called earth. No one and no time shall there would be the occurrence that my ever so fun peer friends shall surpass my ever so unerasable programmed love for you. And if it were not programmed I shall reformat my system to program it once again. Even though I have encountered what, to me, seemed like insurmountable problems which, I thought, were too heavy for my age and psychological and emotional status, I GRATEFULLY THANK GOD with all the gratitude any living human could give for with those problems HE, the ever so powerful GOD gave me a family like mine, and relatives like such. We may not be perfectly loving towards each other, but I know that this love, unlike other shall never fade.
I LOVE GOD.
I LOVE MY FAMILY.
I LOVE MY RELATIVES.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS.
thanks to all for this ever so glorious 19th year of my ever so colorful life.
~love lots,
♥♥♥ dice ♥♥♥
