I know that i can't do anything to clean up this mess.
But as they say we can learn many things from the hurts and sadness that we experienced.
It has been a long time since I noticed that my actions and thoughts are far from what good people do. My realization of my true attitude helped me to clarify things inside my mind.
I am currently broken. My spirit is down to the ground. It can't be revived anymore.
I have lost my self-trust and my trust for other people. I have lost my hope and my faith to other people. I'm afraid that I can never treat them as I did before. I hate disappointing someone as much as I hate being failed by someone. I have learned to trust them with all my heart but they have failed me and this failure messed up my life greatly.
You can say that my spirits is dead and can never ever be revived again.
Thus, no other solution can be made other than to start all over again.
I have died, therefore I should live again.
I should not fail this time around.
My time and love for those I have trusted but failed me shall never be the same again.
I am a very optimistic person. I may be emotional but I am far more optimistic than anybody I know. I hate depending upon other people and mostly do things by my own. I refuse help and advice most of the time especially those from people whom I don't really know. I don't lose hope 'till the very end. I can think of a solution to many problems that other find hopeless.
So, do you see how down my emotions are?I have trusted and depended to these people but, they have failed me.
Now I've learned my lessons well. I shall never depend upon someone again. My family have been always there for me and have not failed me.
The circle that I have been trying to expand shrank down to my family again.
I made up my mind and nothing more can change this.
I shall start all over again.
