I have read from a blog two lines:
No one will ever know the pain I feel inside.
Crying never seems to help.
I'm truly sorry if to some all of my articles are worthless. But I can never tell all these pains. All my hurts would just multiply if I do. So, I have to deal with it through this way.
This pain. It hurts.
But this can never be told to anyone.
Once a very important person to me said, with eyes red and swelling from crying,
with eyes that floods from tears, "Never tell anyone of our problem. It is a family issue. Never spread nor show our dirty linens".
That was what I did.
I never broke that.
I will never let anything leak. Not even you, a person that I know none of,
and in return no none of me, no not even you can have a single clue.
Listening to sad things are bothersome and is certainly boring,
I don't know if anyone would be reading this aside from me but that's just the case.
I can never trust anyone completely.
Not anymore.
For even the truth is not enough for someone to live peacefully.
Sometimes being alone and lonely seems to be the only solution to resolved this chaotic pain inside of me.
I prayed earnestly for it to all go away.
But life never seems to be contented and adds up burden to the piles of sadness and hurts inside of me.
I think I'd do better on my own, no friends, no fights,just me...alone
I'm really done.
This wall around me that I have built seems to be growing by itself and the people around me seems to not notice it.
Soon, very soon, I shall be trapped in this sad, sad place forever,
and no one, not even one can save me anymore.
Putting up this facade is becoming really hard.
But not even until my last breath shall I give up in putting this facade.
I wonder why, I really do.
Everytime I become as sad as this, I feel farther and farther away from everyone.
Why is that so?
Someday, if this won't stop, perhaps I couldn't reach them anymore.
But my decision is still the same.
No one could ever make me release all these pain.
I'll keep it inside of me.
But, though it may be impossible I truly wish that one day,
someone so desperate enough would make me do.
